Couples Fight About Money More Than Sex!

PayPal did a recent study and discovered that young couples under the age of 35 fight more over the finances than they do about sex. 59% said they argued about money while on 15% argued about sex. 

The Bottom Line... A heart-to-heart talk with your honey about money matters might do more for your long term bliss.

Carmen Wong Ulrich, Author of "Generation Debt: Take Control of Your Money." shares some of the key issues that are the fight over finances. Here are a couple snippets.

1. Investment risk: One may want to sink money into an investment that's too risky for the other.

2. Shopping: Yep, you guessed. One spouse is a power shopper and the other is a Power saver. This is where worlds collide. The PayPal study found the argument averaged once a month around bill time.

3. Spending Goals: Couples have trouble being on the same page about the long term goals and are usually vague on a plan to keep out of debt.

Here is another interesting thought. Half of all young couples keep separate checking accounts. If you have both joint and separate checking accounts than how can you avoid money squabbles.

Some excerpts taken from Investors Business Daily... 

The Richest Man That Ever Lived... Context of a Leader

Steven K. Scott's book The Richest Man That Ever Lived shares with us insight from the words of King Solomon who as far as we know was the wealthiest man in history. Solomon writings are filled with advice about effective leadership and communication which is the vehicle of movement for a viable leader.

Here are a couple of excerpts from his book that can help you in your quest to being fresh everyday. Consider it the Context and Delivery of who you are; not just as a leader but also as a person who cares and is intelligent.

CONTEXT

Listen before Speaking

“He that answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame unto him.” ~ Proverbs 18:13

Earn the right to be heard by listening to others. Seek to understand a situation before making judgments about it. As the Greek philosopher, Epictetus, observed, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

Understand Human Nature

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” ~ Proverbs 12:18
Words are powerful, and they can build up or tear down those who hear them. Regardless of your audience or avenue of communication, the following principles enable you to communicate constructively.

People are insecure. Leaders can bestow confidence by demonstrating their trust and belief in a person’s abilities. People want to feel special. Leaders win a loyal following when they are generous with compliments and acts of appreciation. People are looking for a better future. Leaders inspire through an optimistic outlook and words of hope. People are selfish. Leaders learn to motivate when they begin speaking to the needs of their people.

Be Emotionally Aware

“Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day…is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” ~ Proverbs 25:20

Communicating within context involves taking the emotional temperature of others. Pay attention to facial expressions, voice inflection, and posture. They give clues to a person’s mood and attitude.

DELIVERY

Adopt an Appropriate Tone

“A soft answer turns away wrath but grievous words stir up anger.” ~ Proverbs 15:1

When you’re emotionally aware, you’re halfway to effective communication, but you still have to deliver your words appropriately. Many times it’s not what you say, but how you say it. Adopt a fitting tone to address the emotional state of those around you, and your words will have their desired effect.

Speak Persuasively

“The heart of the wise teaches his mouth and adds persuasiveness to his lips.” ~ Proverbs 16:23

The National Storytelling Festival, held in Jonesborough, Tennessee features some of America’s most captivating communicators. Listen for awhile, and you’ll discover traits that allow them to persuade listeners to take interest in the stories they tell.

Enthusiasm. The storytellers obviously enjoy what they are doing, expressing themselves with joy and vitality. Animation. The presentations are marked by lively facial expressions and gestures. Audience Participation. Almost every storyteller involves the audience in some way, asking listeners to sing, clap, repeat phrases, or do sign language. Spontaneity. None of the storytellers have notes. The festival is truly an oral event. Storytellers didn’t read their stories; they tell them, which allowed for eye contact.

Be Honest

“He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.” ~ Proverbs 10:18

In an effort to persuade, leaders may be tempted to cross the line into manipulation. When doing so, facts may be fabricated or spun deceptively. Lies add complexity to life since the liar has to operate under the guise of falsehood. Eventually, lies are brought to light and undermine credibility. Leaders protect their character by using discretion in their language. They speak truthfully—even when honesty is costly.

SUMMARY

Poor communication is the number one culprit of failed relationships—in business and at home. Since relationships are the foundation of success, leaders would be wise to invest in the communication skills of context and delivery. Master them, and you’ll more easily gain favor, more readily make friends, and more effectively motivate others.

What do you think? Give me some feedback... Steve Novotny

Are you an Accidental Influencer?

Here is an interesting news snippet I read today in Cool News about accidental influencers. Do you have any thoughts? SN



accidental influentials Duncan Watts is taking on Stanley Milgram, Malcolm Gladwell and the idea that small groups of high-influence individuals can use their six-degrees of separation to tip trends, reports Clive Thompson in Fast Company (Feb '08). Duncan is "a network-theory scientist" who "has analyzed email patterns and found that highly connected people are not, in fact, crucial social hubs. He has written computer models of rumor spreading and found that your average slob is just as likely as a well-connected person to start a huge new trend." And he's concluded that any attempt by marketers to create or drive a trend by focusing on "influentials" will not work. In fact, Duncan Watts thinks the very idea that marketers could put something over by focusing on a handful of influentials is lazy. "Think about it," he says. "You're saying, 'I am in control -- I am the biggest influencer because I am going to influence the influencers! It's an arrogance," says Duncan, "that only the corporate world could enjoy." To be clear, he "does agree that some people are more instrumental than others. He simply doesn't think it's possible to force a trend into existence by recruiting highly social people," and notes that if it were that easy to do, companies should be able manipulate trends, and consumer behavior, at will.As Duncan puts it: "If society is ready to embrace a trend, almost anyone can start one -- and if it isn't, then almost no one can." Instead, he argues that "a trend's success depends not on the person who starts it, but on how susceptible the society is overall to the trend -- not how persuasive the early adopter is, but whether everyone else is easily persuaded." Duncan has conducted experiments and built models that support his point of view, and predictably his methodologies have come under attack (when in doubt, attack the methodology). Ed Keller, author of "The Influentials," dismisses Duncan's models as "interesting," but too academic to be meaningful. You can read the entire article here. It's "interesting."

Mastering the Art of Selling in 2008

I read a great article in the WSJ about selling in today's market. It was well done and a few thoughts crossed my mind when I read it. Here is the link to the article. It was an interview with Ram Charan. 

What hasn't changed in selling throughout the ages?

- Passion for what you sell. There is no way you can promote and sell what you don't believe in for any length of time unless you believe in what you sell. Your customer demands that they work with someone who knows what it is they are talking about. that is if you want a repeat customer.

- The harder you try the luckier you get. IE. The more people you talk to the more sales you make. The unfortunate part of selling is to get your product in front of as many people as possible. How you do that is another subject altogether.

- The best salesperson is the one who learns to develop a system and/or a method to his madness and can train that method to his own personal power selling teams. A team member should always double or triple your productivity. 

 

Some of Ram Charan's tips for better sales in 2008. I like his ideas. Much can be discussed.

1. Know how the customer makes money. 

2. Learn the customer's decision making process.

3. Build many relationships with the customer, not just through sales.

4. Focus on the customer's needs, not product features or price (Yeah...)

5. Show how your offerings meet customers needs.

Let me know what you think?

SN

Making a Transistion... 4 Steps to Success

So you want to make a transition into a new field. How do you go about doing it.

1. Start by finding all of the successful people in your sphere of influence that are doing what you aspire to do. I have been looking at a new venture and to this date I have interviewed five people. Four are successful at it one is not, but may be successful if he keeps working at it.

2. Count the cost in real numbers. What will the actual cost be to start the transition. Don't cheat! Even count time away from your family which will have a impact. Many people don't reasonably look at this because we want to see the success in it. Always remember that success is in the details.

3. Give yourself a time allotment and plug through when it is hard. F. Scott Fitzgerald said: "Don't confuse a single defeat with a final defeat." Think of all you have learned through grinding in the trenches and to give up now would be to waste precious hard earned insider information.

4. Be a research hound. You can find information everywhere. Wikipedia, Google, Investors Business Daily, Local Blogs. These are just a small sample. You would be amazed at what you kind find on the net. Especially look at discussion or forum groups in a particular field. You can find people asking the same kinds of questions that you are asking. Like "How Much Can I make!".

Hello From Dresden, Berlin... then Amsterdam

Hey Everyone...

Sorry for the missing blogs. I had almost three days of not good connections to post online. Let me give you a quick re-cap of the last couple of days and I will send only a couple picks with this segment with more photos to follow.

Dresden, Germany:

From Munich, Stephen and I took the train to Dresden, Germany for a living history lesson. We saw a brand new city, completely redone from the bombings of WWII (Click Link). I know that sounds like a long time ago. Some of the buildings were so costly, it took this long to finally restore it to its better than original self.

They have a beautiful church that was completely destroyed, but it is now brought better then when it was first completed. Dresden Frauenkirche Church. They spent 200 million on this church. It has the most fantastic pipe organ I have ever seen. The murals and gold appointments are done by true artisans. Here are a couple pics. Remember, outside of the few stones on the side, this is a complete remodel.

Dresden is one of those pretty little towns that is a working machine for Germany. A lot of industry and a very nice feeling. A worthy stop to see the sights.

Next Post... Berlin. Checkpoint Charlie, The Berlin Wall

Steve

Munich Germany, Best Sauerkraut and Schnitzel in the World...

September 16, 2007

Munich:

Germany is beautiful. It is green, lush and clean. The people are very proud of their beautiful country. The way they talk about and take care of it.

I could not believe how many people wearing the traditional Lederhosen and Bavarian wear as a normal day on the town. One guy at the famous Hoffbrau house had a ploom on his hat that was bigger then his hat. I wish I had my camera with me. Even the kids wear the traditional wear with pride.

Another interesting item about the people: They are very health conscious in what they eat. They all want to eat Bio (in German it is pronounced: Bee Ohh) It is our term for Organic. At the Hostel, in the City, wherever, it is a big deal. They will pay more. I had a great talk with “Lilly”. She owns a shoe store where we bought some Birkenstock's. She is a German lady in her late 50’s. She asked me why all of the American women were so fat! She wondered how they flew over in the small seats of the airplane. I told her that they bought two seats. She thinks Americans are fat because we drink milk from cows that are injected with Hormones. I think there are too many McDonald's. She agreed on that as well.

We spent the first day in Munich at the outdoor public mall. It is classic Germany. The famous Glockenspiel (town clock) is there where every hour Hansel and Gretel go out to play. It was under repair. They were also getting things together for the famous “Oktoberfest” which stars in a week and lasts three weeks. They expect 6 million people and will consume 6 million liters of beer. In Germany beer is cheaper then water. Even the old ladies have a beer with their meal.

We ate lunch at the famous “Hoffbrau haus” which is the public beer hall. This is where Adolph Hitler had started the Nazi movement. It is in the center of town and is an important landmark for Bavaria. Not because of Hitler but because it represents all that is good about Bavaria. It has been serving food and drink for over 400 years. At any given part of the day you can eat the best Pork Knuckle, a good stein of their own brand of beer and finish it off with some delicious “Apple Strudel” All of the food was so good I had to go eat there the next day as well. Good thing I don’t live in Germany. I might become a fat German… and not because of hormones in the Apple Strudel. J

Later that day we went to the infamous “Dachau” concentration camp. It is now a national memorial and museum. It is very well preserved and is a sober trip back to the past. On the front gate entering the concentration camp there is an inscription in the gate that says: “Work will set you free”. What a joke. The Nazi’s knew they never wanted people to leave and the only that set people free was from too much work, too little food and death. There is too much human tragedy to talk about it. Click the link if you want to see more info about it. But it is important to remember. The Germans are very embarrassed about it but are willing to embrace the mistakes of following a mad man.

One of the Hostels we stayed at is called “The Tent”. It is open in the summer time and closes after Oktoberfest. It is in a park and you sleep in tents. There was people from all over the globe there. At night we sat around a big bonfire and asked where everyone was going and what they have seen while in Europe. It’s funny. You go to these hostels and talk to everyone and realize Europe is this large school and everyone is on a grand field trip. At night everyone comes together and does their “Show and Tell” time. For 3 euro the hostel cook made some great schnitzel and German potato salad.

We are on our way by train to the beautiful town of Dresden, Germany. See Link. If you remember your history, Dresden was the city that in 1945 the Allied Forces (US) leveled to prepare the way for the Russians to invade. The whole city was one giant inferno. Since then and as recently as last year (2006) they have completely restored the city. It is the capital city of the region of Saxony and has a long history dating back to the first recordings of European civilization. They just finished the famous church (forgot the name) with a 200 million restoration project. Hopefully I will take some good pictures of it.

We stay here for a day and then head to Berlin, Germany. I’m having a great time with my son who is a good traveling partner, but I’m also looking forward to getting home and seeing my family.

But for now… Bis Spater